


gambling away all your tomorrows

by Godoflaundrybaskets (digiella)



Series: running around the galaxy with half a soul [1]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4677737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digiella/pseuds/Godoflaundrybaskets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The galaxy is a tough place when you don't have a daemon by your side. But after Grey and Styles killed Master Bilipida, Caleb Dune wasn't going to just let himself be caught. One way or another, he was getting off Kaller.</p>
            </blockquote>





	gambling away all your tomorrows

Caleb watched the search lights pass by the walls of Kaller’s capital city from his perch just inside the forest. If there was one thing that he was thankful for, it was that at least Styles and Grey didn't have daemons either. He'd read that dog-like daemons were pretty common in military and police forces and, with the size of their company, they would have been guaranteed to have someone who could track Caleb on scent. But clones, like Jedi, didn't have daemons and so Caleb was hiding in a tree, dirty, cold, and wishing very much that he could turn back time and... He wasn't sure what. 

The second thing he was grateful for was that while the Kaller Government might not like ~~Master Billaba~~ the Jedi any more than they liked the Separatists, they were even unlikely to go out of their way to help the clones hunt him down. He'd still have to dodge their police force as much as the clone patrols but the Kaller government wouldn't task any squads specifically to hunt him down. 

He pulled his cloak closer, reaching for the Force for the clarity that seemed so far right now. He was pretty sure he had to be going into shock or hypothermia or something. _Master Billaba is dead_ he told himself, _and it's your fault. You don't_ get _to feel sorry for yourself. If you’re going to be a coward then survive and get moving._

What he needed now was to find something that he could use to convince people at a glance was a daemon or else he was going to have to avoid _anyone_ and _everyone_. If he could get a daemon case, just a transparisteel container that plenty beings with insect daemons used, then it might deflect at least some of the scrutiny that being apparently daemonless would draw. Not that he would dare try and bluff his way onto a ship. A trick like that wouldn’t fool anyone except at a distance, but it would get found out in a heartbeat up close. On the other hand, it might be just the thing to keep curious eyes off him while he dodged the clone patrols.

He smothered a yawn. He was going to have to be up for a while yet while he found everything he needed. He drew on the Force, feeling it lighten his limbs and draw away the heavy exhaustion that seemed to be weighing him down. He slowly breathed out and tried to accept the anger and unfairness that this had happened; the emotions seemed sharper and stronger than they had in a long time. They had _won_ this battle and yet... It didn't matter. ~~She is _dead_ and _you_ just watched it happen~~

He shook his head closing his eyes and pulling out his lightsaber gripping it tight but not igniting it. He shoved away the images of his friend’s betrayal and his Master's death out of his mind. He couldn’t focus on that right now. Master Billaba had told him to run and he had and now he wouldn't stop until he was safe. Off world and back with the Order. If there were any of the Order left. There had to be some. Even if the clones had turned on all of the Jedi, inexplicably, there would be others out there. He just had to find them.

Which meant staying alive and getting off this planet and not just letting his mind drive itself mad by going around in circles. Releasing his emotions to the Force, accepting them, or smothering them wasn't working. They were bubbling up inside of him like a dam that had just sprung a leak. If Master Billaba were here-- Well, he would just have to deal with it until he could figure out what was wrong. He had released his daemon to the Force and with that he was supposed to be _better_ at dealing with these things. And he had been! But now… 

Feeling as centered as he was likely to get, Caleb climbed out of the tree and made his way through the underbrush towards the city walls.

* * *

"Kid, you are not fooling anyone with that bug." 

Caleb flinched, startled at the unexpected attention. He hadn't expected the Kalleran to notice him from his perch on the durasteel fire escape. The Kalleran's small bird daemon must have seen him though.

The Kalleran’s daemon looked like some kind of predatory bird that had to be native to this world. Caleb thought he seen others like it circling above the forest. Long blue-grey feathers extended down their tail, wings that had small fingers at the joint, and a sharp beak with dark eyes. The daemon must have impressive eyesight - and had informed the Kalleran when they saw Caleb eyeing the fruit in the Kalleran’s hand. 

Caleb's eyes didn't flicker down to the small duraglass daemon housing unit that hung around his neck. He hadn’t put anything in it yet but just its presence was enough to ward off some of the stares. He was nearing the spaceport and it showed: the crowds thickening and the alleys narrowing and over it all the roar of spaceships taking flight. 

Caleb debated taking off over the roofs but the Kalleran still had an extra meiloorun in his hand. The Kalleran’s daemon took off and banked near Caleb making him flinch back. The daemon settled above Caleb on the staircase, fluffed its feathers, and looked down at him like it was just daring him to try and make a brake for it. 

Caleb scrambled down and stood as far as he could get from the Kelleran as he could get. Casual-like he let his hand drift towards the small fold in his cloak where his lightsaber was hidden. Adrenaline filled his veins. If the Kalleran made a move to grab him or reached for his holstered blaster or _anything_ , Caleb would have maybe half a second to react. Plus it wasn't like the bird could actually keep up with him; the likelihood that the Kalleran was separated might as well be zero for how common _that_ was. But ~~as Master Billaba had taught him~~ as he had learned during the war, sometimes half a second was the difference between life and death.

He reached automatically for the Force letting himself be open and ready. The Force rushed into him making him stumble back into the wall; the hand that was hovering over his lightsaber reaching back to brace himself against it. ~~Where is your control?~~ He felt dizzy from the sudden influx of emotions that he could sense around him and shook his head trying to parse it all out. He felt like a novice or like he had the month after his daemon had dissipated. All power and no finesse. 

He willed his hands to stop shaking. He should get out of here but he couldn't quite force his eyes away from the meiloorun that the Kelleran had in his hands and his mouth watered just thinking about it. Instead of bolting down the alley way or making a dive for the fruit, Caleb forced a smile onto his lips and said, "What in the galaxy are you talking about? Sidara just isn't a fan of crowds. And don't call me kid."

The Kalleran tilted his head and barked out a laugh. "Crowds? What crowds? Listen kid, a piece of advice for you, that thing is not going to cut it. Humans are supposed to have daemons and you're going to have to do better than a jar that you found in the trash if you want to get off planet."

The Kalleran's deamon fluttered down and landed soft on his should leaning in close to say something that Caleb couldn't make out. Caleb's gut tightened and he took a step back checking the entrances to the alleyway. There were a few people walking past and there weren't any clone troopers in sight but--

"Whoa, kid. Don't run off just yet. I know you're just a baby Jedi, not just some nut without a soul."

"What? No, I'm not!" Caleb's voice cracked and he ran a hand through his hair pushing it back behind his ear. "Look, I was just hungry. I'm not looking for trouble but if you're going to talk like that then--"

"Calm down! Kid--"

"Don't call me kid!”

The Kalleran tossed him a fruit rolling his eyes. "You're - what - 14 at most? It's hard to tell with humans. You're newly minted on the most wanted lists and half starved. If you’ve got a better name for me to call you then let’s have it, because otherwise you’re just going to have to suck it up."

Caleb caught the fruit automatically anger forgotten in the wake of hunger. Before he could think about it, he broke the meiloorun open and stuffed his face with the meat of it. The slightly bitter flavor of the unripe meiloorun did nothing to dissuade his appetite and juice ran down his chin. Belatedly, he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be trusting _anyone_ right now, but... The Kalleran had given him the fruit even though he noticed that Caleb didn't have a daemon. He felt the Force nudging him (like a hammer to the back of his brain) to trust the Kalleran. 

The Kalleran was turning around walking out of the alleyway and past where Caleb was standing; his deamon talking softly in his ear. "You aren't just--," the daemon said before it cut itself off, glanced at Caleb, and turned back to the Kalleran opening its wings slightly as if it was going to take off. The Kalleran pivoted on his heel to face Caleb. 

Caleb skittered back away from the Kalleran not wanting to stay within grabbing range. He took a deep breath and said, "I could use a place to sleep, Mister, uh..."

"Name's Kasmir. Janus Kasmir. And this is my daemon, Kayla. And,” Kasmir said heaving a great sigh, “I supposed you can come with us for the night. _Just_ the night.” Caleb wasn't great at reading the body language of birds but he could swear that Kayla looked smug. 

Kayla turned to Caleb and tilted her head taking him in before turning back to Kasmir. Kayla said, "Take us home, Captain."

"Aye aye, Captain. Come on, kid. The Kasmir's docked a few blocks from here. First thing is to get you a shower -- because you smell worse than the shit in the alley, kid -- and then you can crash for a day. After that, you're on your own. But first, tuck that damn daemon case under your coat. If your daemon was actually shy than she wouldn't be wanting to be swung around for anyone to see."

"Sure," Caleb said. "Is there anything else that I should--?"

"Aw, kid. It's not like yours is a common... affliction. At least outside your order," Kasmir said. He shifted back away from Caleb as if Caleb’s lack of daemon was catching even as the man claimed he understood. Kayla huddled closer to Kasmir in obvious sympathy for his discomfort.

Caleb crossed his arms, scowled and said, "I know _that_." 

He didn't need to be told about the how the average citizen felt about daemonless Jedi wandering about. He was learning all too quickly about _that_. They just didn't _understand_ how the Force replaced your daemon. How it felt to be one - not just with that stray piece of Self but with the _Galaxy_. But that superstition, fear, whatever you wanted to call it, was one of the reasons he had tended to stick close to camp and Master Billaba until... He shook his head smothering the thought. He was going to have to get better at dealing with daemons whether he liked it or not. 

They walked together in silence entering busier streets. It was always easy to tell when you were nearing a spaceport. Instead of seeing any number of native species, daemons exploded into every shape and color imaginable. Kayla slowly calmed down and Kasmir drifted closer to Caleb as the crowds grew thicker and Caleb thought he felt a hint of protectiveness. 

For the most part, people were too busy rushing around to take much notice of either of them. And in a spaceport it wasn't odd to see any number of species working with one another. But Caleb, ever so often, caught eyes suspiciously checking up on him especially when they didn't see a daemon immediately visible. He saw the shudder run down the more mammalian daemons' spines. He hunched over as if hiding his daemon from sight. 

He knew not everyone was comfortable walking about with their soul out there, no matter how taboo it was to touch, but those people also tended to garner their share of distrust. He focused his thoughts on how he didn't want to be seen, how his daemon just wished they were home already and out of the crowds. He forced the emotion through himself and released it into the Force letting it strengthen as it passed through him. Slowly fewer eyes drifted his way but, by the time they reached the ship, sweat was dripping down his back.

Kasmir bumped his shoulder and announced, "This is her, The Kasmir. Isn’t she beautiful?”

Kayla nipped his ear making Kasmir wince and said, "The Kayla, you mean."

"Stop telling people that! We agreed that the next one would be called The Kayla. This baby is Kasmir. Besides we share the same last name. I don't understand why you're still complaining about that. It's not like I named it Janus or something. Anyway, she's registered as The Kasmir so it's not like calling her anything different would actually change her name."

Kayla fluffed her feathers in disapproval and took off into the ship, though, Caleb noticed, she was careful to stay close. He wondered what it would feel like to be bound like that to another being. Always having to be careful to stay close to them. 

Kasmir pointed him to the showers and took his cloths to toss in the scrubber while Caleb washed off the dirt and grim for the first time in weeks, ridding himself of the stink that _he_ couldn’t smell but he knew had to be potent. He kept his lightsaber and the daemon case with him though. He _wanted_ to trust Kasmir but he had learned the price of trust all too recently. 

He found Kasmir arguing with Kayla ~~again! was that natural to argue with yourself like that?~~ , but this time she was quick to cut off the conversation as soon as she noticed him. Caleb didn't know if it was about him or something else. He could only guess that it was him after all. If they were caught harboring him...

He wavered on his feet feeling suddenly dizzy and made a grab for the doorframe with Kasmir's voice sounding suddenly distant.

* * *

"Woah, kid!" Janus leaped out of his seat as he saw the kid waver and start to fall. He managed - barely - to catch him before he hit the floor. Kayla was flapping - startled - above his shoulder. He set the kid down and checked his pulse and lifted his eye lids. To be honest, he had no clue what would be normal in a human but holovids tended to be prejudiced towards that species and he'd watched enough bad medical drama that he knew that this was supposed to indicate _something_ though only the sky above knew what he should be looking for. 

He sat back on his heels and sighed. Either the kid would be fine or he wouldn't be. It wasn't like Janus could take the kid to a medcenter. Hopefully it was just lack of food and rest that was plaguing him. Janus picked the kid up and started making his way to crew quarters, such as they were, so that at least the kid would be sleeping on a bed.

Kayla settled on his shoulder her claws tightening their grip on the specially designed shoulder pad as he twisted through the tight confines of The Kasmir. Kayla said, "We can't just let him go, Janus. Look at him: he's half-starved and he's not going to make it if we don't help him."

Janus snorted. "Oh, like he would let us keep him. You saw him in that alley way. He's skittish as a half-starved wind dragon and as likely to lash out. You're just lucky he was hungry enough to stick around for some food. Plus with that bounty on his head... keeping him here is not going to be an option for long."

Kayla tutted at him. "So instead you’re going to kick him out in the morning, is that it?"

Janus settled the kid down onto the bed then he stomped back into the kitchen. Kayla took off and glared back at him from her perch by the table. "Look. He's not just some stray that we can pick up. It’s not that easy. You know that. I _know_ you know that."

"He could be useful! We've heard all those stories about the Jedi and what they can do. He'd more than pay off any expenses he could accrue."

"Yeah. And there's a massive bounty on his head. There's a lot of things they say about Jedi. Trouble magnet and daemonless are the ones that I care about right now."

Kayla tilted her head. "There are species that don't have daemons, y'know. Maybe he's like one of those!"

"Oh yes, compare the kid to a Hutt. You are just so convincing when you put your mind to it. Plus, he’s human; they all have daemons."

Kayla huffed out a breath and turned so her back was towards him. Janus just rolled his eyes at her sulking. He knew there wasn't much she could argue about with that. The kid was going to be more trouble than he was worth. Janus didn't even know his name and, to be honest, he didn't even really want to. He felt bad for the kid, it must be hard to go from the golden boy of the Republic to one of its most wanted, but that didn't mean much on the Outer Rim. Plus, the lack of daemon was... unsettling at best and very very noticeable. 

How a person could go about, acting normal, without half of their soul... The kid was obviously unbalanced but Janus was willing to attribute most of that to the kid's world going to shit. He’d seen the kid and his Master after the Separatist General had fled Kaller - the kid from that day was barely recognizable even though it couldn't have been more than two weeks since the message had been spread that the Jedi were traitors to the Republic. The kid had to be on the wanted lists somewhere, but there were enough names on those lists to keep anyone busy.

Softly Kayla said, "He's just a kid, Janus. He can't be more than 15."

"I know." Janus sighed. "But there's not much we can do for him. We gave him a place to crash and some food but he _doesn't have a daemon_. Whether or not there's something just _wrong_ with him, we're not going to be able to just hide that little fact. And they'll be looking to question anyone without a daemon right now."

Kayla turned her head around and regarded him. "I don't want to see his holo marked as dead and neither do you. Just let him stay for a couple days and get his feet underneath him. That's all I'm suggesting. Maybe we could nudge him in the right direction if he has any questions."

"We’ll see. But if we get clones knocking on our door, I'm reserving the right to tell you that 'I told you so.'"

"Deal," she chirped. She fluttered over to his shoulder pad as he got up to get another bowl of soup and pressed her cheek against his. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand down her back smoothing her feathers down. He wouldn't give up Kayla no matter what a pain in the ass she could be. Janus wondered what could drive someone to get rid of their daemon and, even unbalanced as the kid was, how the kid was still functioning. He felt another shiver run down his spine.

* * *

Caleb woke up drenched in sweat, heart racing and grabbed his lightsaber. He flashed it on before he was truly awake. He blinked - frozen - as his mind started processing the hum of a ship's engine and the small cramped cabin he was in. He was alone. He was in Kasmir's ship. He was safe, at least for now. 

He deactivated the lightsaber feeling a flush creep up his neck and was glad that The Kasmir had private bunks. He was supposed to have more control than waking up swinging his lightsaber around; he was just lucky that neither Kayla nor Kasmir were around to witness the slip. He took a deep breath driving the wisps of sleep from his mind before hunting around the cabin for a datapad to check the time. He found one thrown on the floor underneath of some old sheets. 1750 ship standard time.

He'd slept - passed out - for a full rotation. He didn't remember making it to the cabin. He sat back on his heels and regarded the area. It looked messier than most ships he'd been on, but those were mostly ships from the military or the Order both of which had "ideas" about how a ship should be kept clean. There was a perch for a bird daemon and he pushed against it. Bolted to the floor, which was probably for the best in a smuggler's ship, or whatever Kasmir was. He wasn't a bounty hunter at least. 

Reaching his arms up towards the ceiling, Caleb felt more than heard the crack of his spine moving into place. He started going through what stretches he knew would fit in a cramped area before his stomach gave a massive growl. 

He hunched over it and closed his eyes taking a deep breath. Hopefully Kasmir would feed him again. That fruit was not enough to fill him up even yesterday but it was probably best to take food slow. Besides, food was easier to find than sleep out in Kaller proper. He'd already outstayed the 'one night' that Kasmir had promised him and, while Kayla seemed more sympathetic, he didn't really expect much. 

He scooped up his lightsaber and the Jedi communicator and glanced down. He was just down to his underwear after Kayla had tutted and Kasmir had stolen his cloths to scrub the muck out of them. He shrugged and stepped out of the cabin and peered down the hallway. No one was in sight so he crept out and went to look for his cloths. 

He didn't find Kasmir, but he found the kitchen which made him pause with temptation for a whole minute before moving on to complete his mission. If Kasmir kicked him out he would want to be dressed. His cloths were sitting in a sonic scrubber where they were cold and wrinkled. Jedi robes were used to worse though so he shook it out and got dressed.

By the time he made it back to the kitchen, Kasmir was inside and cooking some kind of egg stirfry. Caleb’s stomach growled again and he winced. Kasmir turned to glance over at him and laughed when he saw the cloths. "Found your laundry alright, kid?"

"Stop calling me kid," Caleb said, "and yeah. Is there anything that I can help with?"

"We have it under control," Kayla said from her (apparently) habitual perch on Kasmir's shoulder. "Besides, no use risking breakfast on someone's unknown cooking skill. You can try next time."

"Uh, next time?" Caleb asked sitting down at the table. He scrunched up his nose, "Breakfast?" It was close to 1800 ship time last he checked and it could have been more than half an hour to find Kasmir making ‘breakfast.’

Kasmir shrugged. "It's a turn of phrase, kid. Don't read into it. It'll be done in a couple minutes. It's just eggs with _my _special spice blend and a few vegetables from the store but nothing a human should be allergic to."__

__"I don't have any allergies."_ _

__"Even better," Kasmir said. "I'll help you look a little less... Jedi before you head out but you can eat your fill before we get to that."_ _

__Caleb looked down at his hands. "Oh." His lightsaber was tucked into his robes out of sight. He wasn't really sure what Kasmir wanted. Kayla obviously was prodding Kasmir to let him stay while Kasmir was firmly against it. He still wasn't sure how he felt about finding out about adults that _argued_ with their daemons. That didn't really seem to fit with his knowledge of what daemons should be._ _

__His daemon had long ago become one with the Force… It was almost a year ago now. He didn't really even think about her anymore. Plus, it wasn't like she was _dead_ or that he was _severed_. She was one with the Force. They had chosen together to become a Jedi Knight and she had faded into golden ashes one night as their bond which had tied them together so closely faded away. Now, he almost wished for her back. Things would be easier with her here if only because they could _pass_ as something other than Jedi. _ _

__"Look kid," Kayla said and sighed. She nudged Kasmir with her wing before taking off and landing on the perch near the table. Caleb shifted uncomfortably. Most of the daemons he'd dealt before with had more or less ignored any Jedi that were around. Kayla pinned him with a glance. "I don't think your unstable or about to snap or anything, but you can't stay here."_ _

__"I know that," Caleb said trying to keep the defensive tone out of his voice. "I didn't expect--"_ _

__"Food's done!" Kasmir announced shoving a bowl in front of Caleb. Caleb lost track of the conversation stuffing his face. It was a little spicier than he was used to, ship rations tended to be rather bland, but not as bad as it could have been. He polished off the bowl, scraping it clean, before glancing at the empty stove._ _

__He put the bowl in the kitchen scrubber, took a breath and squared his shoulders conscious of the eyes watching his every move. He turned around and it was only his reflexes that saved him from getting smacked in the face with another fruit. He didn't recognize this one but it smelled just as good as the meiloorun._ _

__"Alright, kid. If you've got what you came with I'll fix your robe and you can keep the fruit." Kasmir said pushing up from his seat. Kayla fluttered up onto Kasmir's shoulder and Caleb trailed after them to the ship's ramp. Kasmir fussed with his robe, though Caleb couldn't see much of a point. Kayla flutter off Kasmir’s shoulder as he kept bending over to fix something or other that was wrong with Caleb’s robe._ _

__"It's bad enough you don't have a daemon. I think you realize that your little transparisteel carrier is about as convincing as a jar of dirt. If you keep walking around dressed like a monk while clones are on the hunt for Jedi you _are_ going to get stopped for a search and you still won’t have a daemon." Kasmir stepped back to admire his handiwork. "There. That should work for at least any cursory looks. Not sure how you're planning on avoiding notice for long without a daemon but... I'm afraid that's going to be your own problem."_ _

__"Thanks," Caleb said biting into the fruit. This one was a lot less juicy than the meiloorun and a lot chewier. "Wah doo I doo bow?" He asked mouth still full of fruit._ _

__Kayla laughed startling Caleb from where he had forgotten about her on her perch behind him. She asked, "Why do you think we know what to do, kid?"_ _

__Kasmir rolled his eyes and said, "You do what you have to live in the actual galaxy with the rest of us miscreants. You lie, you cheat, you steal, and you survive. Didn't they teach you anything useful in that temple of yours?"_ _

__Caleb shrugged not knowing what to say. They taught a lot of things there but it wasn't like they had a magical daemon reforming machine. To be completely honest with himself, it was only once he was out of the Temple that he'd even realized what horror stories were being told about people without daemons. In the temple, it wasn't such a big deal. Most of the younglings had them, but as you aged up through the order it became less and less common. No actual Master had one._ _

__As time passed, the realization of how shielded they had been growing up in the Temple kept growing clearer. Caleb thought he'd been through the worst of the culture shock finding out how the "real" galaxy worked but between Master Billaba and the clones he was still cocooned away from what actual people thought of the Jedi. He was probably lucky that Kasmir was willing to even talk to him without a daemon._ _

__Kasmir watched Caleb, his lips quirked up into a half smile. They both nearly jumped out of their skin when Caleb's communicator started pinging. Caleb regarded it with wide eyes wondering _why now_? He turned to Kasmir who had stepped back and raised an arm for Kayla to settle onto. She was saying something softly into his ear but right now, Caleb couldn't bring himself to care. Using the voice he had heard the Generals order people about with he faced Kasmir and said, "You have to fly me to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. That's the emergency signal! Whatever your fee is, they have money there that will more than cover it."_ _

__Caleb went to grab Kasmir's arm, ready to drag him to the cockpit by force if necessary, but the man dodged out of his reach. Caleb narrowed his focus and raised a hand while reaching for the Force to mindtrick Kasmir into taking him but Kasmir's back was already turned and half out of the ship._ _

__"Sorry, kid. I'm strictly Out-Rim based. You can find yourself a new ride home if that's what you’re doing. Good luck. Wait in here for a second and I can get you some ration bars you can take with you." Caleb narrow his eyes at that because shouldn’t the ration bars be in the kitchen? Kasmir raised his hand as if waving goodbye and disappeared from view._ _

__Caleb narrowed his eyes at the communicator and then where Kasmir and Kayla had disappeared out of the ship. Lie, cheat and steal was it? He headed deeper into the ship. He had seen the cockpit earlier while hunting for his laundry – it wasn’t like the ship was huge, not like he was used to. If Kasmir wasn't going to take him to the Temple - Caleb allowed himself a small smile - then he would just have to take The Kasmir there himself._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at [godoflaundrybaskets](godoflaundrybaskets.tubmlr.com) if you want to flail with me about with Star Wars.


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